urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:evina_apple evina_apple evina_apple 2008-04-20T17:27:32Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:evina_apple:975 2008-04-20T17:27:32Z 2008-04-20T17:27:32Z A whiter shade of pale (Procol Harum) <b>Title:</b> The old man<br /><b>Author:</b> evina_apple<br /><b>Rating:</b> PG-13<br /><b>Genre:</b> Dramatic<br /><b>Warnings:</b> Character death<br /><b>Summary:</b> He had fought for the weak, being the brave, young idealist he was. But they had betrayed him. In his last moments, he remembers...<br /><br /><a name="cutid1"></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />The old man opened his eyes, trying to defeat the cold that was around him, into the atmosphere. His house… he had to try to walk…but there was no point in walking… <i>So, this is the end</i>,he thought. <i>This is how it feels to die</i>. He felt no sorrow, in his heart there was no place for grief. He had nothing to lose…nothing. All he could feel was relief… This torturing life, his life, would at last end… The snow was covering him, carving him a tomb of ice. These were his last minutes, the last minutes of a life long, full of sadness and loneliness… Nobody would mourn above his frozen tomb… They would probably never find him… And they wouldn’t even search for him… Now that he thought again about it, his whole life was a loss…His great love for the human race was spent for no reason. He closed his eyes, trying not to think, to make these last moments less painful… But he couldn’t help it… <i>But why</i>, he wondered, <i>why they say that when you die of drowning you see all your life passing through your eyes? I am not drowning and, yet I can see the whole of my torturous life pass in front of my eyes.</i> <i>And why I can feel all my being revolt against the idea of death? Death is the best I can hope for, now</i>.But yet, he had to face it: he didn’t want to die. Even after all the cruelty his life had shown him he was reluctant to leave it. <br /><br /> Why, why was he still alive? He could feel his parts frozen, but, yet, he still drew breath. And suddenly, he understood it; his end-like all his life- would be painful and harsh-that was his destiny. So, having nothing left to do, he accepted the bitter drink his life had kept for him and he let himself dive into his memories… <br /><br /> His life had been a period of pain and tortures. <br /> He was born in the castle, son of a noble knight; the future was shining upon his feet. He became a knight himself at the age of sixteen and he started to travel around the world. He was one of the few, a knight that truly honored their oath and had dedicated his life in helping the ones who needed him; and they paid him back with ungratefulness. <br /> During his wonderings he saw poverty; terrible poverty and death, diseases and wars. He learned the law of the stronger but never followed it. He fought courageously for the helpless and punished the ones who showed cruelty to them. His young heart was full of love, love for the race of men. And that was the reason why the Lord of Adrainon decided that he had no place amongst the knights and ordered to arrest him. <br />The peasants, the ones to whom he had dedicated his life, were scared, and they betrayed him. He passed the best years of his life inside the dungeons of Lord of Adrainon, were he was awarded for his kindness with tortures. But even these tortures couldn’t remove his love... <br /> After a lot of painful years they released him. He had nowhere to go; he had no family, no home and no friends. So, he went to a poor village and worked to survive. It was one of the villages he had fought for. Everybody was laughing to him, they all behaved with a huge cruelty to him, the kids were throwing stones to him, the dogs were chasing him, even the nature was against him; he was without home and the nights were colder than ever. But he survived. He still wanted to help but he was useless. <br /> The years passed. He became part of the routine of the village. They referred to him as the old man, and, truly, he was old. He was still thrown stones from the kids of the kids who had started this-years and years ago and he was still chased by the dogs. But nobody ever approached him. <br />He made a tiny, wooden hut to live in. It couldn’t protect him much from the cold, but it was better than being outside, left to the anger of the winter’s wind and the snow. <br />And the years kept passing, and the one who had started his life with the best of hopes for his future was now a shade, an awful shade of his past self. He could have been better, if he had lost his love. But he still adored the ones who tortured him. <br /> <br /><br /> One day, he found a couple of hawks; baby hawks and he raised them. He even made names for them: Thomas and Billy. When they grew, he let them go: Go, go my birds. Freedom lies in front of your feet.That’s how he told them goodbye. And the hawks left; and he was left behind, full of sorrow and alone. In the meanwhile, he had become a part of this little society, connected to it. Now, they talked to him periodically. And he was still known as the old man. <br />The other day, after he had left the hawks go, something unbelievable happened: they returned. And that became a routine: the birds left at the morning, and returned at the night. The people saw it, and they got used to it. They saw them, and called them with their names: “Thomas!!! Billy!!!” <br /> The kids had stopped throwing stones to him. He was kind of respected. One day the hawks did not return. He was anxious about them, but he tried to persuade himself that they were alive. The days passed. <br /> Then, one day, two children came to his hut. He was surprised. Hardly had anybody ever visited him. He quickly found some sweets and gave them. <br /><br />“You live here?” the girl asked him. <br />“I do.’ <br />“And, do you live alone, all alone?” <br />“Yes, my daughter. All alone.” <br />“Ah…Now I understand about the hawkls… You must forgive them; they did not want it…” <br />“Forgive who?” <br />And then, the girl explained it to him. Their friends, while trying to have some fun, killed the hawkls. The old man felt sorrow rise inside him. Then, the kids left. And he left his hut, and went to sit outside, in the forest. He laid on the snow, and closed his eyes. <br />His kids… His hawks… Slowly, his cold lips whispered their names. <br />And the day was passing… The circle of the life… The night… The death… <br />He opened his eyes. Was he still alive? Why? But the fate, his cruel fate was satisfied now. He didn’t find peace, not even in his last moments. He was still full of love… Wasted love… Nobody would search for him…. They would accept his disappearance without a second thought… He felt his life flying away of his heart… Leaving a sigh of relief, he closed his eyes for one last time and remained there, frozen, while the vicious snow covered his tired body, forming a secret tomb… <br /><br />And nobody ever mentioned him again...